Poem Day 2

My brother is probably the funniest human being on the planet. He hates the most RANDOM things and it’s absolutley hillarious. His girlfriend and I always joke about writing a book about all the things he hates, but I thought, why don’t I just write a poem? So here it is. Enjoy:

Things My Brother Hates

The worst possible day
my brother could ever have
would be stuck in a car
while I drive,
no music but Christmas
tunes, feeling exhausted
while sun blares in his face
like a spotlight,
being forced to eat lasagna or buttered noodles—something
really plain—and talk on the phone
for hours,
all while wearing plaid
and shoes that are too tight,
looking like a hipster.
We would drive to a movie
and be forced to choose between
three chick flicks, but I would be
so indecisive I wouldn’t
choose any of them.
We would then take
hundreds of pictures,
and his face would look
disturbing in every single one—
on purpose—
a lot like the Christmas cookies
he decorates, “because
they’re stupid,” and I wouldn’t
dare ask a question
where he could possibly be wrong
because that would make his day
the worst day ever.


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